Tuesday, 15 July 2014


In the fifth issue of KILL YOU LAST, the world's premiere action film zine, we have:

A special Sly Stallone section, with Nell Frizzell explaining what ROCKY can teach us about romance and first dates, Dale Lloyd reporting from An Audience With Sylvester Stallone earlier this year in London, and some awesome original COBRA art from Sam Cookson.

A look at a bizarre breakdance/ marital arts hybrid MISMATCHED COUPLES starring Donnie Yen and Yuen Woo Ping.

Why straight to video football hooligan sequel GREEN STREET 3 is worthy of your time (spoiler: Scott Adkins is in it).

An interview with amazing cartoonist Kyle Starks about his brilliant Roadhouse homage SEXCASTLE.

The time James Bond starred in Death Wish and fought ninjas.

Plus lots (some) more things!

YOU CAN BUY IT HERE: http://achinglychic.bigcartel.com/product/kill-you-last-issue-5


Here are some photos of what it looks like:

Friday, 13 December 2013


Issue 4 of the world’s first (?), only (?) and sexiest (!) action movie fanzine is now available! – If you want one hit up www.achinglychic.bigcartel.com to order your very own copy, or if you want to trade for your own zine or something drop me a line on dj_wilhelm (at) hotmail (dot) com

This issue delights include a eulogy for the late, great Paul Walker, an examination of a completely insane RAMBO children’s book, a look at the hidden meaning of JINGLE ALL THE WAY, reviews of ESCAPE PLAN, BULLET TO THE HEAD, THE LAST STAND, WANTED DEAD OR ALIVE (sort of), and giant robot dinosaur Highlander rip-off TV movie STEEL JUSTICE. Plus pin-ups, puzzles and comic strips! And yet more wonderful obscure and insane VHS covers handpicked by @VivaVHS!

Issue 2 and 3 are back in stock as well, y'all.

'Exclusive' 'preview' below:

Thursday, 22 August 2013


So, issue three of the world's premiere action movie fanzine is now available for your consumption - head over to www.achinglychic.bigcartel.com to order your very own copy, or if you want to trade for your own zine or something drop me a line on dj_wilhelm (at) hotmail (dot) com

This issue's cover feature is a review of BANGKOK DANGEROUS, a Nic Cage film nobody cares about. Other fine treats include a breakdown of Dolph Lungren's 1986 exercise tape, reviews of Michael Jai White DTV classic BLOOD AND BONE, Rutger Hauer as a blind samurai in BLIND FURY and why Nicolas Winding Refn's ONLY GOD FORGIVES is the most important film since KICKBOXER. Plus we have yet more wonder obscure and insane VHS covers handpicked by @VivaVHS!

44 pages, B&W.

See some pages below:

Saturday, 13 April 2013


So, here’s the second issue of KILL YOU LAST, the world’s only action movie fanzine.

This issue has the first part of an in-depth look of the film career of Hulk Hogan, an interview with the director of Rewind This!, a new documentary about the history of VHS, and a play-by-play examination of Bruce Willis’ disastrous appearance on The One Show. There’s also reviews of forgotten VHS-era classics Enemy Territory and Cyborg Cop, mediocre Brue Willis film Striking Distance and The Rock-starring family flick The Gameplan.

Plus Theres another gallery of awesome 80s VHS box art curated by the wonderful @VivaVHS.

Check out a few pages below:

 40 pages, A5, b&w.

(FYI, The first orders should be send out eek beginning 22 April. I'm shipping from the UK, so if you're in a different country, please bare in mind it'll take longer to get to you. Cheers.)

Monday, 10 December 2012


So, for whatever reason, I've made a fanzine about action movies. It's because I genuinely, unironically love action films, and no one takes them seriously, so this is an attempt to do something semi-intelligent and quarter-literate about them.

There's reviews of various films, from recent stuff like Haywire and Expendables 2, to forgotten Bruce Willis films from the 90s, to weird-ass straight to DVD crap starring 50 Cent. There’s also interviews with outlaw film critic Vern, author of the excellent book Seagalogy, and the director of Chuck Norris Vs Communism, a new documentary about VHS tapes being smuggled into communist Romania.

There’s also a gallery of awesome 80s VHS box art curated by the wonderful @VivaVHS.

You can order it here: 


but to be honest, if you want one let me know and I'll just give you one - drop me an email at dj_wilhelm@hotmail.com with you're address. I can also send it over as a PDF, but obviously, it's much cooler in print.

Here's a few sample pages (click on them to enlarge):

Tuesday, 16 August 2011

M&Ms World - If Kafka made Confectionery

I like capitalism. I like popular culture. I like M&Ms. Therefore I presumed I should enjoy the new M&Ms flagship store in Leicester Square, right? CHRIST NO.

Situated below the W.Hotel (the gaudy monstrosity where Premiership footballers are accused of sexual assault and my friend once saw R Kelly in the lobby), it's 3 floors of chocolate, tat and fibreglass statues of commercial mascots.

There's a glorified pick and mix stall at the back where to can mix together all the many varieties and colours of M&Ms. Except you can't, because they don't have the crispy M&Ms. So this 'flagship store' actually has less choice that a newsagents in Shepherd's Bush. Fail.

Ooooo which colours should I choose? Oh wait, THEY ALL TASTE THE SAME.

To be fair, most kids there were just mixing them all together, rendering the whole entrprise pointless.

The rest of the place is dedicated to selling tenuosly branded pointless M&M crap. I think the cat collars might be the pointless of the lot.

Ok, maybe this is the most pointless.

Ok, may be these.

Then again, maybe these? Christ, it's all so baffling.

I love the idea that you are going to buy so much M&Ms tat that you need a BASKET.

Are you are crap British urban popstar? Maybe you are Tinchy Strider, or the one from N-Dubz that isn't Dappy or the slutty one? Want something to illustrate your undeserved wealth and your horrible lack of subtly and taste? Then why not buy a diamond encrusted credit card holder with the M&Ms characters on it?

Who the hell pays £750 for a porcelain model of M&Ms on a roller-coaster?

Gifts 'for her'.

This is the worst jacket in the world.

On the walls, there are help diagrams about the history of the M&Ms characters.

These two now get reparations from the other M&Ms


It would appear that in the late 1980s, the green M&M had a sex change.

She's much happier she's now that's she's the right gender.

Don't you love that we live in the age where you can easily buy a 500 piece jigsaw of a sexy chocolate sweet?

I'll be honest, after a couple of drinks, I definitely would.

Bloody female referees. Keys and Gray were right.

Gawd bless her soul.

I have no idea what this was. I was glad it was broken.

Helpful postscript: If you go to the rather excellent Prince Charles Cinema round the corner, they have crispy M&Ms.